Ram Dass Now

I also love the final image of the sacred 108 pages. The bridge serves us when we need to cross what seems to be a flowing obstacle; it helps us remember when we pause on it to look at our reflection; it helps us to love when we use it to cross over to the people who wait for us on the other side. It’s the perfect image for the final page of BHN’s From Bindu to Ojas~Ram Dass saw the bridge, paused on the bridge, and crossed over it. He does it again from Be Here Now to Be Love Now.

And with a reflection, you’re looking down at the illusion of yourself, and identify with it; but it’s not you, it’s just a reflection. Right? Depends on how you look at it: what you see IS you (the reflections, the water itself, etc)  vs it’s your brain separating you from the water that has your reflection in it. The simpler way is usually pretty good. So, both. I go with both.

I’ve had only one picture in mind during these 108 days, and I knew I was going to show it on the final blogging day because it’s my version of the bridge on 108. I took this picture in the Fall of 2008 in Austin, Tx.  This old fisherman sat patiently floating in the middle of the reflection simply waiting for fish. Then he came to rest in the eye of what the reflection completed as a fish that reminded me of the Christian Ichthys. I was stunned. He WAS both the reflection, and himself at the same time; reflected and reflection.  I was immediately taken back to this final page of BHN when I saw the image.

Ram Dass has given us a bridge; just as Maharajji gave to him; Just as Hanuman bridged the ocean with a great leap to serve God and the beloved. I am grateful to have participated in this blogging experience, and am more assured that while I am still on my bridge, that I can enjoy my reflections as I move to the other side in each moment as it presents itself.

Namaste’
Jon

Icthys Eye - Fisherman rests in the eye of the Icthys

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If nothing is going on, nothing is happening, nothing has ever happened, and nothing ever will happen, then there is nothing for me to know. I have no clue. No idea what’s going on. So why am I writing on this blog? So many others who are so much riper than me. This is my karma, I suppose.

I experience my experiences, but engage in my own illusions, indulge myself in it, project my own ideas onto the void, and call it “Jon.” How’s that? What projector? What illusion creator? Bzzzt. That’s the short circuit.

I am a walking paradox. I carry with me a great deal of burden because I still need to learn or ripen. I am so grateful that I do feel deep compassion, that it keeps me sane (most of the time).  We found feral kittens recently, and I knew that we’d need to catch them and help adopt them out so they could live healthy, happy lives with loving people–and one night I caught one, and as I took it to a waiting carrying case, it slipped from my grasp and ran back to it’s mother. I was already feeling terrible for taking a kitten from its mother before I had my hands on him. Apparently, I cannot knowingly separate a child from its mother, in spite of knowing that a growing feral community is not healthy for the kittens, or future kittens. But it’s not my place to decide kitty karma. My compassion overtook my intellectual mind and helped my unconscious knowing to come through. At the same time, I am glad that there was another person that was able to catch all 4 kittens, get them to a clinic, and get their shots and find a home for them. But I could not do it. I’ll kill a mosquito, and feel remorse as I wash the blood from my hands, but I won’t take a kitten from it’s mother to help find it a loving people home. I have no clue what’s going on with that, but I know it’s not a weakness of any sort. I don’t know whether to feel guilty or great, or nothing at all. This is all very confusing–fortunately, I see confusion as a reminder to slow down and pay attention. Continue reading

The ‘Hail the Goer’ mantra has particular significance for me. Right beside it is all of pg 88. The comfort of this almost chaotic looking page is that it’s presentation may make you look particularly carefully to make sure that you’re reading the words that are actually written. . . if you’re like me, you have to ‘work at it’ to see it, literally. But the message is so comforting that the work leading up to it is completely worth it.

That the water just goes on down stream, just like your senses just do what they do (and on this page, you get great exercise in the visual ‘doing’ something) . . . that you can overcome attachment through a simple exercise (karma yoga, candle focus) truly practiced, is relieving; this makes a lot of sense to me.  And what’s in sharp focus? Waiting for you to be drawn towards it (maybe as soon as you look at the page)? The clear Om Mani Padme Hum mantra. I mean, it’s literally the clearest thing on the page, visually. Where his heart rests, watching the unfolding happen. That’s just a warm sounding place, no matter what’s going on– it’s comforting to know that somebody’s there, in that warm place, and knowing it, and giving you a mantra to focus yourself so that you can find it too.

And not just that . . . also that there’s no claim to need to attain a permenant state of non-thinking just yet; and that the thoughts that you DO have can be appreciated for what they are (” . . . few people who know me don’t appreciate the fact that I think and have keen discrimination and have not lost my mind and I am a sophisticated aware being”).

So you work pretty hard to actually read the page, and to get the tone and rhythm of it (though I guess many may not work at it at all and read it easily, but I think y’all will know what I’m referring to), only to find that, like water,  you do what you do, but you neither have to be attached to it, nor absent from living life. Take heart that there’s somebody guiding you home either way. Om Mani Padme Hum.

When I got Be Love Now, I opened to a random page to see what was revealed to me. Page 116 talks of what the guru does. I think he’s the one that’s sitting in that warm heart place calling you home, waiting for your awareness to merge into one with with the mantra. Far out as that sounds to me, the idea resonates with something in me; I’m not entirely clear on what yet, but it’s comforting in the same way as pg. 88 of BHN.

I haven’t finished Be Love Now yet, but I can say that it is truly as beautiful in it’s essence and presentation as Be Here Now–and it goes beyond that too. When you read it, notice the voice that it sounds like it’s in–I like to imagine Ram Dass speaking the words out loud, in conversational style with me. For me, it’s a laid back, deeply heart-felt tone speaking to comfort, not just inform. I could go on . . . but suffice it to say that I’d suggest getting a copy. Please stop by www.BeLoveNowBook.com and take a look around, watch the video, and get a copy of the book. Really. Watch the video. “. . . You. . .Love everybody.”

Namaste’
Jon
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Short and sweet is what my computer is telling me today. It keeps turning off this morning . . . ? I spent time trying to fix it, and it kept doing it, so I’ll keep this short. I suppose Maharajji works through computers, too! And I think he sees fewer words than I hear running around my  head.

(p 87) The Stillness – The Calmness – The fulfillment. That’s the rooted place. Ram Dass talks of the roots being where ‘it’ is at. We speak of their stillness. There are no beautiful leaves or color in the roots; Just the driving force of life. That still place that literally soaks up what is around them.

We ARE roots. This does not seem magical to me. This just seems to be a truth. We absorb what is around us–always. Jesus is a root. Maharajji is a root. I am a root. Papa is a root. We’re all roots, absorbing what is around us. And even if ‘we’ are not being still (ie if we are running around as hyper egos), our roots are still quite still; the steady calmness of the roots is always with us. We just have to turn in in in in in through love love love love love to be our roots.

My screen is beginning to flash, so I’m going to hit ‘publish’ now, but I may return to update this post. Please check back, and please add your thoughts on stillness and roots, your experiences of being rooted.

Namaste’
Jon
Further thoughts now on different computer: We have to care for our roots. While they may rest deep inside of us, they are still there and need to be nurtured, loved and cared for.

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“Those of little faith need long fingernails and long hair to believe it’s happening” (P 73)

And what’s wrong with that? We’ve been going round about how it’s all the same stuff, and about how it’s ok to be right where you are at, including if you feel like you need proof; it’s just where you are on your path . . . it’s no better to be 4 yrs old than it is to be 40 yrs old, it’s just where you’re at. So “Lest ye see miracles ye will not believe”? Ok, then show me miracles–and I don’t mean the miracle of how the fertilized egg ‘knows’ how to split into various body parts–I’m talking about a physical reality that cannot be explained by science, slight of hand, or any other parlor trick. Let me see somebody levitate while standing in a random field (vs in an environment where there could be hidden devices to create the illusion).

I refuse to lie about what I believe, what I have experienced. I refuse to fake faith. I will not engage in the very fraud that I get all self-righteous about.

I asked up above ‘So what’s wrong with that?’ . . . And the answer is, Ram Dass didn’t say there is anything wrong with that. Nor did Jesus. They just stated that folks who believe without seeing are in a different place. It was me (and maybe you, too) who added the judgment. It was me who assumed that they wanted me to believe in magic; it was me who projected my own fears,  doubts and judgments into their messages. And if neat tricks help people move towards lovingkindness, then so be it. Am I the one to sit in judgment? Nope; well, except to the degree that I do.

I have prayed to God, Jesus, and Mary, I’ve asked Maharajji, Buddha and Krishna, and even my Papa to grace me with something to break down my own wall of doubt–to the point of sincerely crying from hunger to simply believe without seeing. . . and I still doubt, it’s just where I’m at. So for all of you who may secretly doubt, but don’t want to seem like a ‘bad Christian’ or a ‘unfaithful devotee’ I say, you are not alone. Allow your doubts to exist if they are already there. Never deprive yourself of sacred honesty. My best understanding is that if you deny your reality, then it will persist until you come to terms with it. With you, I pray for a deeper faith that doesn’t need to bother with proof or lack thereof. Just to love and to be loved. Until then, I’ll meditate and be honest with my fellow travelers. Namaste’

Jon

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I LOVE my Pa-pa!

So I’m going camping this weekend with two of my favorite people in the world. . .and in Central Texas, the weather is 50’s at night, mid 80’s in the day, and sunny! I’m looking for an old pocket knife to take camping, and I find the last letter that Papa wrote to me, my mom and my brother when he visited before his passing. I had a great time reading and remembering. This was a real man of honor and spirit; no drama, no frills, no magic. Just compassion and integrity rolled up with intelligence and wit. Imagine my mirth when I read “I am my own grandpa!!”

Such a gentle human being, a spiritual person. Just what you’d think of as a wonderful grandfather in the movies. He has been one of the most influential people in my life. In life, he was funny, resourceful, energetic, intelligent, service oriented, brave, courteous . . . just a beautiful person in life and in death.  So I find him while looking for a pocket knife. . . and I remember him sitting on his porch deep in meditation while undergoing cancer treatment (this, after my post last week about being brave on my porch, was very humbling) . . . I remember him comforting me as a child, I remember him helping me learn how to remember things better by writing things down, I remember him teaching me to wiggle my fingers like a fish (which I’ve now passed to that sweet little 7 yr old girl who had surgery a month ago), and I remember him teaching me to play rummy, and so much more. I love it all. I miss him.  And I get happy tears typing it. Then I remember that he’s no further from me than I am from myself—literally.  He’s here now, and I don’t mean as a ghost or anything. We’re all the same thing. The guru IS you reflected, you just add your interpretation of the reflection . . .

I see that what I respect and admire about Papa, is already totally present in me; if I don’t already have ‘it’ within, how would I know what ‘it’ is that I am respecting and admiring?? I see what I want to become in my grandfather; those are my desires and attachments reflected back—and I just interpret that reflection as a different person I called Papa.

~~~ That is what poured through my heart when I read page 66. The Tao of Papa. ~~~

Thanks for sharing this memory with me! I’ve always looked to Papa as a spiritual teacher for me; as a model of honest spirit. I am so grateful to have been around him, and to feel more as one with him. I didn’t meet Maharajji in a body, but I know my Papa! And those two would have been a hoot!

G’nite Papa,
Love,
Your Little Buddy
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Sitting on my porch, I can imagine the new skin under the old–I can imagine it peeling away in one smooth motion. I can see the successes, etc. All of the ideas and other play things of the ego.

I have great ideas, full of potential, lots of vivid, actionable details, when I’m sitting on the porch. Oh, the details of it all. . . it’s fun on the porch, overwhelming  in real life if I don’t keep up. Must keep up with it all. Gotta rip the skin off the snake to get there faster!

Oh wait, that doesn’t work. But neither does not doing what is necessary to accomplish a particular goal.  So the snake doesn’t just sit there and the skin falls away (pg 57) . . . they wiggle through branches and other rough stuff and it falls away as it’s ready, but not before, and nobody can push the snake to move. The new skin’s gotta be ready to let go of the old. That sounds familiar.

So again, I see permission to just be where we’re at, without messing around too much with judgment of where things are at . . . and balanced with intentional action that helps shed away layers (of the snake, or the onion on page 58). I wonder if that Tapasia fire burns the old skin away? I’m guessing so—it’s another example of it’s all the same thing, especially when you’re in the now with it.

So what to do while the skin is still clinging on (or our ego clinging to the old skin)? I think there’s lots of ideas: sit still and breathe, find something to love, experience real gratitude, compassion, practice karma yoga . . . and yes, sitting still is still doing something to help moulting—it IS rubbing up against something rough enough to clean off the old; try just breathing and sitting still for 10 minutes and see—the ‘ants in the pants’ feeling, or intrusive thoughts? All branches that help us moult. Already get a calm, present feeling of the now? Great! Then moulting is happening already—we have plenty of layers to watch peel back, so there’s no hurry on this one. Just love the beloved until the two are one—Bhakti. So is waiting for the moulting to moult Bhakti?

I feel like if anybody can read about this, and feel a little moment of peace . . . even just a brief silence, an empty space is opened where we can feel love. And that space grows at the pace it grows—we can relax and unfold while finding love in whatever walk past. I think Maharajji wants us all to find love. Simply find love, or Be Love Now (….until  you and the beloved become one). When we’re so full of love that our skin can no longer contain us? We moult.

I am grateful that I can be brave and creative on my porch, and expand that courage and creativity in whatever time it takes (this blog is part of that expansion for me). I like the idea of moving around to ‘encourage’ the layers to be dropped—to invite transformation though intentional action and meditation (invite it, not force it). This blog is one of the branches that I’m brushing against. I’m thankful for this place.

Another James Taylor line that I love:

“The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time”

Learning to enjoy the passage of time takes moulting. We uncover this secret through lovingkindness for ourselves, and all around us.

Namaste’

Jon

PS 10 minutes after I posted the above: I want to share with y’all some of the transformations that happen for me real-time.  I woke up with a sore throat (allergies) and a bit of a headache–not in super soft place. After I slowed down, read BHN a little, then moved beyond the discomfort to post from heart, all of a sudden (no kidding) I’m walking around whistling/singing “All you need is Love.” Once I became aware of this, I perked up and realized that the headache was gone, and the throat is still sore, but not bad enough to keep me from singing. I really am loving this experience!! Thank you.

Still,
Jon

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I really enjoy reading page 52. The visual images are really simple and capture so much. If I imagine Ram Dass telling me what he means for me with this page, I picture either him looking at me with a grin waiting for me to finish my verbal thought train, and/or him saying:

Relax man. You may feel important, and like the rest of us, you are, but just not in the way you thoughts have you thinking that you are. Remember that being attached to anything, including the role of helper or lover, etc., creates suffering, which means more time here to work through it. But you do that because you love the Divine Mother; that total embodiment of all experiences —your greedy pursuit (attachment) of that perfect affection/resonance that totally reflects you, paradoxically keeps you all locked up, away from your transformative fire; you stay stuck in the role of ‘experiencer’. . . all so that you can sit with that amazing lover a little longer.  Whenever you’re ready . . . to re-union with her very essence, instead of being distracted by her trinkets . . . then things will happen in a really cool way.

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“As long as we’re greedy for experience we’re going to be around for quite a while . . . “

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You’re here to go on whatever trip you need in order to find your courage to face your fire (the crisp trip, Tapasia), then get what you need from the greed trip, then move on. But no rush.

And all of these ‘fires/lessons’ are but specks on the beauty of the Divine Mother, who is waiting for you right here  . . . Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhisvaha om

I realized as I was writing this that it’s completely Ok for me to ‘want’ to hang around here and bask in her light. It’s Ok to have that greedy longing to love the essence that reflects me (and all else) so well. James Taylor sings:

Whenever you’re ready
You could see a dream come true
Whenever you’re ready
I’m just saying it’s up to you
Whenever you’re ready
Things could start looking up
Whenever you’re ready
Take a big sip from the loving cup

So, whenever you’re ready to release attachment to the Divine Mother, you’ll finally be at one with her, drinking tea from the loving cup.

Namaste’

Jon

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“Because if you’re truthfully here and now there’s no more you . . . That’s the way it works” (Pg 46).

We’ve all been truthfully here at some point. And we’ve all experienced the grief of losing that center, and the longing for it to return. We’ve all chased it, given up, then stumbled on it, often landing face first. And it doesn’t always hurt. Nor does it always smell of roses or jasmine.

The other day, I saw a pink balloon at the base of my stairs, it was barely inflated, just a small sack of air with a pink ribbon. I decided to pop it, pick it up, and toss it in the trash. So I stepped on it and felt it pop, and was thrust into a moment of clarity . Nothing dramatic . . . Just the simple realization that we are all balloons of skin, filled with spirit . . . with the word of God, breath of Maharaj-ji, Jesus, Buddha, etc . And either we slowly deflate and allow our spirit-breath to return to the wholeness of it all, or somebody/something comes along and pops us, freeing our spirit-breath. Either way, we always return to “non-you-ness” somehow . . . and it does not need to be at the moment of our death.

I meditated after this. I didn’t totally dissolve, but I did become more present. I did re-member that being fully in the now means the acceptance that everything co-exists at the same time: Now.  Where fully present means that you are fully connected with everything, everywhere.  When you are literally that connected (and we all really are–read up on quantum physics if you need the science of it), there is no separation from God because you ARE God–you may still be in a pink balloon,  but “it’s all the same stuff,” so there’s no “you” to experience, no set reference point for observation of anything.

You don’t stop existing, you just stop thinking that you do . . . then you may be on the way to freedom; your thoughts are free to roam (since you have a brain while you’re in your balloon); your spirit can mingle with “whoever-ji” (thanks Blake).

So, Hail The Goer. . . then Hail us All. We’re all already gone, we’re just visiting in a balloon, often thinking that we’re separate (ie ‘not here’) and sometimes suffering, sometimes content as a result. Until we either deflate or pop. I never considered a balloon a teacher until the other day.

Great teachers and sages (Jesus, Ghandi, Meher Baba, Yogananda, Maharaj-ji, Ram Dass, etc) fill us in a way that helps us all float so high that we pop, or just as beautifully, land in some new place where we can deflate peacefully. What a great flight! Thank you, Ram Dass, for filling balloons, and for popping them. Namaste’.  _/|\_

Jon

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Lots of words in this one . . .but it’s 1/3 of how it started.

My life changed in the past few days as I watched a beautiful 7 year old little girl ride a scooter into surgery, excited about her hospital stay. She knew what was happening, and she stood up and faced it in a way that I don’t know that I would have–the lions still spook me a little. Those fierce lions bowed down to her. I bow to her and her mother. I cannot live my life the same after watching an exhausted little girl rise up from bed against her body’s wish to sleep, and walk around to promote healing. I am humbled by her Muchness (you have to see the newest Alice In Wonderland to get that reference).

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I went into this blogging experience completely blind. I hadn’t read a bunch of spiritual/philosophical/existential/quantum physics books in a while . . . I used to read them constantly. I haven’t been meditating for hours each day . . . but there was a period when I did. I’ve just been living my life as I live it, mistakes and successes and everything in between. When the request for writers came out, I replied with interest, but didn’t pour over my response to make sure I said things right or wrong. When I talked to the folks at Love Serve Remember, I didn’t get my copy of Be Here Now out and read it repeatedly to prepare the perfect responses. I actually laid in my bed half naked and just answered questions with what came naturally. It was really beautiful to be in that space–It’s not that I didn’t care, it’s just that I wasn’t basing the my sense of self on getting picked or not. I wasn’t evaluating myself as a teacher/guide based on this. Now don’t get me wrong–I did put effort into how I sounded.  But I didn’t try so hard to craft each sentence to perfection.

And then I found out that I was picked to participate. BAM!! Ego came rushing in to congratulate me . . . and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker.   How self-important is that!!?? It’s based in desire. A desire to help, but a desire all the same. All of a sudden, I DESIRED Ram Dass to know who I am–to remember me, acknowledge me. But at the same time, I didn’t really feel the need to send out repeated email/facebook/twitter/linkedIn blasts asking people to click ‘like’ on my posts. I didn’t approach each friend and proactively nudge them to check out my posts. I’ve taken a more Zen approach to it: Those who want, or are ready to see it, hear it, learn from it, will come to it through our conversations, and my neutral page posts (vs marketing blasts) on my pages. If not, I’ll still be teaching and helping people face to face, where we can share the same space for a while. I love the karma yoga that is my daily life. This experience has been icing on the cake that I stumbled into. Tapasia baked the cake. Continue reading