Ram Dass Now

A great yogi once was asked what’s the secret to enlightenment, he replied “when I’m happy I laugh, when I’m sad I cry, when I’m hungry I eat and when I’m tired I sleep.”

Simplify everything. Our egos and emotions want to complicate it to no end making us think that our issues are somehow the defining factor in our experience. That may be true as it relates to our perception but the trick at getting through our issues and being here and happy right now is to simplify everything. This is not an original thought I know, I’m just saying it because it rings true to my heart at this moment and I need to feel that.

I’ve always found that my tendency is to want to go “through the doorway too fast.” My intellectual mind wants there to be some trick to being on the path like I have to learn all of these complicated mantras, I have to be a level 3 yogi, I have to be a scholar of the vedas, etc. All of these things are great I guess but most of the time I think it’s ego that’s driving my motivation to do all of these things faster and better. My favorite beautiful yogi teacher Saul David Raye always reminds his students that the ancient yogi mystics never heard of Level 3 yogis, that we made that up. And I’m learning that all of the conflicting motivation makes it hard to deal with my issues (or with others) a problem. Matters of the heart when infused with ego sure does make for some confusing realities.

I feel that there’s a little misunderstanding with how eastern spirituality is being practiced in the west. Because of the explosion of yoga and bhakti there is a whole new world that is being exposed to us in the west. So many new ideas, texts, asanas, chants, teachers and traditions. We get so hungry to learn them all but as we all know the far out thing is that they are all telling us to Be Here Now. That it’s all ready within. Just don’t go “through the doorway with your ego” (pg 98). That’s it. Again, simplify everything.

It’s so frustratingly perfect that Maharaj-ji would constantly reply to queries with “love people. feed people. remember God.” I can see it now – all of these smart westerners coming to him with all of these complicated problems and questions and then he would just look at you and say that. Over and over again. Ram ram ram ram ram. Over and over again. Ram ram ram ram.

It all sort of lies in the “funny about that” place. Whenever I find myself in conflict I just want to reply “love serve remember” or repeat the maha mantra. I want to go there so badly but I have to learn that even though I want things to be that simple I must understand that everybody else’s experiences are different. We are all unique and are in different spots on the path. Furthermore I’ve also learned that if you try to force your trip on somebody who doesn’t want to hear it then you just make matters worse. When in suffering or conflict finding that delicate place where there is beautiful common ground is the sacred dance. That’s the place where you realize that most of the conflict you may be in is actually quite small and insignificant. You go through so much struggle to realize that love really is such a sweet solution.

We are nearing the end of our blogging journey. Only one more post left. I feel that this week is inspiring me to report back on how this book can be applied to my daily life. What it did for our culture is immense, what Maharaj-ji was like is very interesting but how we can apply this to our lives and be better people needs to be said. It’s my hope that I can contribute in a small way.

Being in love, sharing sacred song

I’m so happy to be back here with you, my brothers and sisters. Last week, I was contemplating the silent freeways while my head was in the clouds in Maui. Tough life I know. For whatever reason getting to a computer to write just didn’t seem to work out. Funny how that is – I was near the source with Mr. Be Love Now himself yet I felt like I had very little to say. Somehow just being with Ram Dass in the gorgeous manifestation of mother earth left me with few words, I was just floating from one moment to the next.

I always experience this very powerful visual metaphor when I’m Hawaii. I’m on the beach in Maui and I can see, very clearly, a birds eye view of my body sitting on that beach. I can see from deep outer space my little body on the edge of a tiny island that is the most remote land mass on planet Earth. There I am, just sitting on a spec of rock in the middle of the ocean. Because of the physical circumstance that this vision puts me in I can go deeper and really understand my connection to the rest of the universe. I am no different than the sand, the ocean, the fish in the ocean or than the earth itself.

The trip about being human is that we’re aware that we’re aware. We may be the only species that is aware that we’re aware. So I see that I’m just this sentient life form in the middle of nowhere – I can vibrate into oneness with the one, the formlessness. Touching the sand and feeling the warm water I can blend into matter. Slowly though, balance kicks in. I become aware of sight, sound, touch, ego, responsibility, perceptions. The role that I am a man with relationships, jobs, money and speech weighs on me and suddenly I’m back to participating in this incarnation. Oh no. Is there illusion here?

Page 93 cracks it open “A fully realized being – you must delight in the exquisiteness at every single level. you must take joy in your maleness or femaleness.”

It’s that expression of love found within my role that I don’t subscribe to the notion that it’s all just a meaningless illusion. Sure, we made up the idea of working 9 to 5. But the energy that I put forth in all my actions contributes to the energy that I find when I’m just being in oneness at the beach. It all has to work together.

In fact, if I had to summarize one lesson from “Be Here Now” it would be that this path encourages me to be present in every moment – mundane or not. You still have to “chop wood and carry water” (pg 96). The dance here is really finding the balance that makes it all work together. If I go too far one way I bliss out and don’t do much of anything. If I go too far the other way I perform meaningless actions that are unconscious and robotic.

It’s fun to live on the edge. I have a friend who once said that he lives on the edge because “that’s where all the action is.” Damn straight. When I sit on the beach in Maui I seriously contemplate selling everything I own just so I can continue sitting on that beach. But then I fall in love with my role and some of my desires. I learn to embrace them as sometimes flawed but always perfect. I relish in the deliciousness of kissing my mate, or eating ice cream, or the miracle of sound that comes through my iPod. Ram Dass has told me over and over again that I must “love the chair because it’s a perfect manifestation of the one.” If “flow in harmony with the universe. i can still do my thing” (pg 96).

That edge where consciousness, love, God and being human all play together is what’s really giving me a lot to think about these days. It’s so far out to think that I’m eternal and “can be anything this time around.”

Om Maui Om

When I was a young child I used to hide in my room for hours and hours playing video games. I would find so much pleasure in disconnecting from the rest of the world just so I could hide in that beautiful digital fantasy. Completing one level after another only to complete the game and then start another.

In and of itself video games are fun and actually quite healthy. But as I grew older I realized that the way in which I played video games was really a symptom of not being comfortable in the moment. I would play games to avoid doing my homework and to be alone. I had so much fun even while I let my responsibilities crumble around me. Anything to get me out of the here and now. There’s the old saying “wherever you go, there you are.” That’s true unless you keep your world is made fantasy where you’re a wizard or a little Italian guy with a big mustache.

As I grew up I continued to have problems in the here and now, in just being. All sorts of manifestations of that came up, some of which I’ve touched on in previous posts. The tough part about trying to escape from yourself is that you never can, you just keep running and running. Right? Why? Because “wherever you go…”. The only thing you can do is to stop and bear witness and surrender to the now. Nothing is anybody’s fault, there’s no one to blame and nowhere to run, everything that’s ever happened has led us to now. And it’s perfect.

For the last 40 years Ram Dass has given us simple yet profound instruction on finding bliss in each moment, by simply being “here now” we have the potential to make each moment into an experience of enlightenment. Each moment is a gorgeous gift of Gods and can be perfect no matter the circumstances. Even as faith lingers, Gods love does not. Now it seems that Ram Dass has taken it even a step further, the little rascal. “Be Love Now!” It’s no wonder that Hanuman is the patron saint of this practice, Ram Dass (and by all accounts Maharaji-ji) is such a little prankster monkey. So sweet, kind, full of devotion yet always challenging us with little pranks that are fun to toy with.

“Be Love Now”. Really? All the time? Try saying that in the middle of L.A. traffic! It’s a prank – just being here here here, right now – loving now now now. Just love, all the time.

I have yet to read the new book but I can tell that it’s Ram Dass at his best. RD and Ramesshwar Das have embarked on a journey that will no doubt share wisdom and love that will inspire us all.

We’re almost finished with our 108 pages of Be Here Now. Almost. “Nobody is going anywhere” (pg 81). That’s the best part. “We’re always going to be here” doing our dance. Living our Rasa Lila. Which reminds me – I’d love someone to write about living their Rasa Lila in the Kali Yuga, how much fun is that?

Anyway, as I continue to dance my divine dance I have a new goal this week. It’s to see everyone as a divine dance partner. Even when I’m furiously impatient in line at Starbucks or at those opposing Proposition 19, I want to dance with them. And I’ve started to realize that I can even have fun with it! I can make life into a love filled video game. Wonderful. “Going back into the world” (pg 82) is a good step indeed.

But maybe I should play a few games of “Angry Birds” on the iPad too.

The Rasa Lila - the Divine Dance of Life

Today is my birthday. Wow. How about that? Another rotation around the sun has taken place and I’ve been a witness to it. I’m never one for revelry on my birthday – it’s hard to take the self indulgence of that me-focussed love. Of course, like most of us, I do reflect about my life on the day. Everything I’ve ever done in the last 37 years has led me to this point…all that kind of stuff.

Also like most of us, my life has turned out exactly how I hadn’t imagined it! As Sri Sri John Lennon said “life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

There was a time when I just saw the little old man in the blanket. Of course it’s all just perception – we see what we need to see. But it’s deeper than that too. I wasn’t ready to be seen, or to have my heart touched, or to surrender my intellect in favor of compassion. It was just a little old man in a blanket laying there throwing fruit at people. Charming.

As my journey continues through the days, months and years I find more important now than ever to just focus on the moments. I was reminded last night by a great teacher that perfection lies within each moment and that result is enlightenment. If you just string together a few moments of Gods love that is within you then you will be see it everywhere else.

I’m not sure when or what the moment was when I stopped seeing the little old man in the blanket and started to see boundless love and universal energy. I can’t say that there was ever one lightbulb moment. Everything that I’d been doing was just kind of hanging out in black and white – comfortable but very neutral. When I slowly started integrating high definition colors and sounds then the man in the blanket became a sea of perfection and being happy was just easier than being bummed out.

I was dancing and singing with my Hare Krishna brothers and sisters last night. Talk about HD color and sound – their tradition does have amazing potent bhav. I’m grateful to be willing and free enough to learn from all paths and traditions.

Sometimes the potent and concise eloquence in Be Here Now fools me into thinking the practice is easier than it actually is. I get why – its important to know that the gurus (gods) love is easily accessible and does not discriminate. But it takes work. There’s so much to let go of. The ego is very powerful in the west. Competition, success, achievements and potential are very hard to play a balancing act with. We’re taught to achieve more and more and more. Experiencing bliss in every of life’s moments takes intense sadhana, the guru can only do so much. I see Maharaji-ji’s little eyes that are barely open, I see them asking me “what sadhana have you done today? how about seva?” Could be a trap but I see these things.

On this birthday, yes I am “the desire to be enlightened.”

All of the major religions proclaim “the kingdom of heaven is within”, that’s a generally accepted point of view. Everything you’re looking for is already within you and that you really don’t have to look anywhere else but inside. Here we say “you are the guru.”

There’s a wonderful little realization of the infinite truth that I get from these pages (64-70), that isn’t really said rather it is implied over and over again.

So if you are the guru and the guru is infinite blissful love then first you must love yourself before you can love others. That’s it. If inside, we are truly “sat chit ananda” then there is no other option. To me it’s a very simple yet powerful thought. Am I over simplifying it? I don’t think so.

I’ve spent many years feeling unworthy of love and very much unworthy of self acceptance. I could never get over some of my past actions or my current thoughts. “Gosh, I think such terrible defect-oriented thoughts that I mustn’t be pure.” Or, “I used to do terrible things to get more drugs so I must be broken and corrupt.” Not too much different than how RD must have felt when we saw Maharaj-ji after having wild sexual thoughts that he was sure Baba knew about (pg 68). I’ve learned that all of my thoughts and feelings make up who I am and they all are perfect. I’ve been reminded many times to not live in the past and to love who I am right now.

So, if the guru’s love is inside of me then what greater order do I have than to shine it on myself first. The soul is full of bliss anyway, ananda. Using the idea of the guru to me is like what we talked about last week – he or she can be used as a vibrational reminder in the physical plane. It’s not idolatry – it’s just using the guru’s physical self to remind us of the unphysical. The merging of the understanding that God is both impersonal and personal.

But how I do I take that ananda, that infinite love, with me all the time? I may have written about it in a previous post but I do find the trick is to practice these ideas all of the time, in every situation. It’s easier to be be “here in love” when things are going well. The real test and connection to Godlovehead is when things appear to be difficult. Resentment, anger, shame, death, hurt feelings, sadness, loneliness – all of life’s heartaches provide so much room to practice yet are so powerful that it becomes very challenging. How can I use the gurus infinite love when I’m full of seething resentment? When my ego is bruised and I want things to go my way how do I compassionately love my way to gratitude? I wish I knew more about this. That’s where I’m at in my process and this book is helping me through it.

To be continued as I continue to explore within and without…

Disclaimer – I really have no idea how bhatki works. I’m just figuring it out like the wayward pilgrim I am. But I believe what page 63 tells me “The Way Bhakti Works – you just love until you and the beloved become one.”

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship with Maharaj-ji. Trying to really analyze it. Trying to figure out what can’t really be figured out. Trying to figure out how I ended up here. I was born the year he left his body, so obviously I didn’t know him personally. I didn’t see the little old man in the blanket or have him pat me on the head. Yet, I can feel something tangible when I think about how I know him. Like most devotees I keep pictures of him in a few places that commonly cross my eyes. Doing so provides me with a vibrational opportunity to grow along spiritual lines that are rooted in love. For reasons I’m still not entirely sure of, he is direct vibrational access to unconditional love. When I look at a picture of Maharaj-ji the first thought that pops into my mind is “love, serve, remember.” It’s as if he’s telling me to make every action an opportunity to practice sadhana. Every conversation can be an opportunity to connect, every drive through LA in traffic can be an opportunity to be more patient and forgiving, every task performed at work can be an opportunity to be grateful for all of Gods abundance.

For me the relationship is based on something like a “level of consciousness, a frequency of vibration, a connection to another plane.” (pg 62). That’s perfect because…it’s funny, I don’t really want anything from Maharaj-ji. I’m constantly dumbfounded that my love for the guru is so based in vibrational love. I don’t ask for things, I don’t pray for specific revelations. I just sit back and let the powerful metaphor of his life envelop me in a place of loving awareness that gives me a chance to be free. It’s amazing when it works and juicy when it doesn’t! The big a ha moments come when I get in the way of the grace and act out of ego. It’s so clear when things are out of sync.

I was raised an intellectual. I was taught that the power to change my circumstances was through a well planned intellectual road map that when well executed would land me in a better place. That understanding the ins and outs of my mind was alone enough to give me liberation. So, this whole business of just loving everyone, simply and purely, sometimes makes no sense whatsoever. Add on this whole idea of loving this little old man in a blanket I never met is even more comical. Here I am at age 37 worshiping Hanuman and Lord Krishna! Me??! How did that happen?

What happened for me was that my game ran out. All of my ins and outs, all of my plotting and planning just stopped working. Once I felt what it was like to be unconditionally loved and cosmically understood I knew there was no other way. Sound familiar?

I am a witness to how Neem Karoli Babas grace is being passed on to the next generation. It may be arrogant of me to say, but I feel that the next generation of devotees really gets to taste the nectar of his teachings. I don’t have the nostalgia of once knowing him or the pain of once losing him. I just have the simple message of how bhakti works. That’s more than enough.

I’m so thrilled to share this weeks post that I can hardly contain myself! I don’t know where to start. Fortunately, I’m reporting to you from Taos, fresh off the heels of the magical mystery Maharaji-ji mahasamadhi tour celebration at the ashram. Unfortunately, the bodies need for sleep is getting the best of me so collecting my thoughts is tough.

Jai guru dev! This was my first trip to the Taos Neem Karoli Baba ashram, I’m happy to say that just when I didn’t think any more light could be shined my way, the experience this weekend blew the light bulbs out. I am so blessed to be part of a satsang that supports me in my liquid wandering as I find my way on the path. Every soul was so kind and welcoming and beaming with the guru’s love. I felt at home. The day in which mahasamadhi is celebrated is really unique and powerful. Pilgrims from all walks of life gather at the ashram to express their devotion in the ways they know how. Some Indians come from far distances, some locals are there – but all together to express the common desire to keep the flame alive.

Since I’m in the middle of blogging about Be Here Now there was no way that I could visit Taos, New Mexico and not visit the Lama Foundation. After all, the Lama Foundation gave birth to many aspects of this legendary tome. I wanted to, at least for a moment, touch my fingers to the dirt where Ram Dass espoused these words that have changed so many of our lives. It was like visiting the original source fountain. Getting to Lama was, however, as adventure in itself.

Stephanie and I decided to rely on our favorite electronic guru, the GPS, to lead the way. We fired it up on the iPad and low and behold our friend Google Maps found our location and laid out some pretty specific directions. Away we went! Jai ho! Up the 522 highway we went following all of the directions that oh…led us about 15 miles away from where we should have been landing us in the middle of a dirt road in the Carson National Forest. Just before we set off Stephanie expressed that she wanted to go on a nice mountain drive. Well, we sure as hell got that. The Carson National forest is really beautiful by the way. Anyway, FYI – anyone using Google Maps to find the Lama Foundation – beware, it will take you to the middle of nowhere.

We quickly became very aware that Maharaji-ji was playing tricks on us. We were looking for the Lama Foundation and instead we got beautiful mountains and a real live llama.

Driving down the dirt road looking for our turn off we were desperate to find a human being out there. Anyone would do really. Turned out we ran into a very pleasant cowboy who was driving towards us in his pick up truck. We flagged him down and asked him if he knew where the Lama Foundation was. He, without hesitation, directed us to go down the road about another mile or so and there we would see a couple horses grazing on a property with a bridge, and then just over that bridge we would see a farm with a herd of llamas. Lama, llama. Who knows, right? It was all very confusing. Sure enough, we get to this farm and saw some llamas…in the middle of the New Mexico mountains, while totally lost looking for the Lama Foundation where Be Here Now was birthed!

Not the Lama Foundation!

Oh my. To make a long story short we realized that this was, in fact, not our destination and that we best get ourselves off this persons land and try to get back on track. Some locals back in town set us straight and directed us 5 miles down the highway to the clearly marked signs which we missed the first time around.

Alas! We made it. Just being there was enough. The very kind property caretaker greeted us as we walked upon the property and very lovingly explained the properties history both before and after the 1996 fires that nearly destroyed the place for good. Our time was short however, and we needed to get back on the road. It was a short pilgrimage, just enough to touch the dirt and commune with the spirit.

The Lama Foundation! Found it.

Tricks were played, beauty was seen, friends were made, satsang was in full effects, bellies were full and love was all around. It is such a gift to have a spirit of adventure knowing that it all turns out ok in the end. Being lost and then found is really what it’s all about, right?

Sometimes I’m arrogant enough to think that the spiritual metamorphosis is harder for the Western person than it is the Eastern one. Who really knows I suppose, every culture has it’s own sense of roadblocks that are on the path to now-ness. But western culture grows increasingly enamored with wanting more of everything – with no finish line. “As fast as we can shovel it”. (pg 46)

Aside from the lack of now-ness that shoveling it in creates I suspect that it’s also the cause of some of our fundamental problems – taking care of mother earth, lack of compassion, bigotry, hunger and greed. If our collective center was just a little more calm, focussed and present we might not be running around like a species gone mad.

During my personal times of madness, I felt like I was deep in a spiral of sensual gratification that had no sense of belonging or consciousness. Shoveling drugs in as fast as I could trying to run away from the here and now was all I could do. I can remember clearly thinking that if I cleaned up my act that God wouldn’t love me – such self loathing. I’ve learned that staying in the here and now requires staying there even when it’s unpleasant. Walking through all of it – sensing more and hearing more is what’s required. That’s the deal. Which leads me to the fascinating concept that’s outlined on Page 45.

A sort of demystifying of our intentions. “Oh, I’m going to good things for my child.” Substitute “child” for “myself” or “others” or “partner” or “friend”, etc.

The sentiment seems like such a good one, right? In and of itself it is. But if you look deeper you realize that it’s ego!

Just work on yourself. The lesson to me is that if you get clearer, calmer, sense more, hear more then you ARE more. Therefore, you will by default do good things for your child! Because if you experience all of those things how could you possibly do bad things for your child, right? Setting our personal goals of wanting to good things is great, but if you’re not right on the inside then the good things may get muddy. How many kids did we know growing up who got an endless supply of external things and grew up unsatisfied and lost?

One of my favorite parts in the Gita is when Arjun asks Krishna which is better – to be a renunciate of all things or to stay in action? Krishna replies that it’s better to stay in action with devotional service in mind.

I’ll be the first to fall of the sword of western culture. Complaining that ego is just to powerful and that temptations are just too great. It’s such an easy trap. Every step and movement I can take, no matter the social context, can all be an act of devotion to God. Intentions. Intentions. Intensions with sincerity.

Me and my beloved are just leaving four days of what was essentially started from Be Here Now. Talk about a “Cookbook for a Scared life!” Bhakti Fest has been just that. Four days of expressing devotion in whatever path you’ve crafted for yourself. Asana, kirtan, dancing, singing, discussions, hanging out with swamis. You name it. So amazing to experience 3000 people manifesting lots of be-ing here-ing now-ing.

When Ram Dass came back from India in 1968 I can’t imagine that he knew it would lead to this. Maharaji-ji’s spirit is alive, flourishing and taking on new depths of devotion for an entirely new generation.

“The spiritual journey is individual, highly personal. It can’t be organized or regulated. It isn’t true that everybody should follow one path. Listen to your own truth.” – Ram Dass

I’m by no means a well versed scholar of the buddhist tradition but I’ve always thought of the for noble truths to be tenets that require action. I love that Pages 35-39 go through the four noble truths one by one. Page 39 culminates in “getting your life straight. do your work. do everything you’ve got to do.” We can be touched with so much grace and love by our gurus but if we don’t put the grace and love into daily action it’s all lost. What sense does it make if Maharaji-ji touches us deeply but we end up a dishonest asshole? His grace is lost if we don’t all lead by example. “The higher you get, the harder your fall!”

Of course we all do the best we can. Freeing ourselves of desire every chance we get only to end up dancing with the ego again. The constant roller coaster of setting our intentions. The Gita talks a lot about that too – staying in action with righteous selfless intentions.

I’ve been so touched over the course of the last week. So many beautiful traditions singing the holy name with such sweetness. So many great Yogis have been kind enough to illuminate my path – I give thanks to them. And very profoundly I give thanks to Radhanath Swami who in a very short time has touched my heart deeply and been gracious enough to extend his hand out to me. Swami-ji reminded me of what’s so beautifully written on Page 41 “had ye but faith, you could move mountains, said Jesus.” That’s just it – “it’s not hocus-pocus…it’s a very simple methodical set of steps.”

And lastly I want to thank Ram Dass for being the original light in my life – for so many years he has shined and shined. I’m so blessed to have finally gotten out of the way to accept some of that light!

Oh and yeah…um…please everyone, go to Bhakti Fest next year!

“Do you surf through it all? Or do you carry it around like a load?”

Happy Labor Day to all of our friends in America who have the day off. Let it be filled with love, relaxation, fun and friends.

Last night, I was so enamored with the infectious devotional grooves of The Mayapuris – a wonderful young kirtan group from Florida. They are “Krishna kids” who have dedicated their whole life to spreading the sweetness of the Radha and Krisha through kirtan that gets you “dancing like a wild gypsy!”

With residual kirtan bliss this morning, reading Be Here Now I am reminded of the most aspirational aspects of one’s life: to love everything I do. Is it a burden or is it all part of the dance? Does it feel like a weight or do I surf my way through it? Last nights kirtan and todays reading reminded me of the sweetness of life. It can all be so sweet and full of ecstatic moments if we simply “change our heads” (pg 33).

It’s so great to see how my fellow bloggers are really starting to form ideas and grace through their words, this cyber satsang is really coming into it’s own. Hopefully our beloved Ram Dass will be able to check in and share a message or two with us!

As mentioned last week, I will let some song do the talking. One of the great western mantras there is. Jai Sri George!

Give Me Love