I grew up along the banks of the big, beautiful Susquehanna river. Its wide expanse is bordered by a variety of trees, bushes and animals sometimes submerged and re-emerging in a new form. An ever-changing scene of non-delineated is-ness. Always changing but also always the same overall happening.
Years ago the river was contained by small dikes that allowed an unobstructed view all along the edge. Now the view is compromised by large walls put in place to hold back its raging waters when they rise to flood.
I would go to the river often to be comforted by its ever-flowing, steady presence and found solace in knowing it was always there. It is one of my sacred places.I could sit on those banks and watch its purposeful meanderings for hours and the concerns of my heart and head would be carried downstream as I contemplated the mystery and magic of it all.
Its murky, brown waters although often calm and serene would sometimes become a raging torrent. But no matter the mood the waters flowed. I could surrender to that flow and trust that I too could be carried along the currents to whatever lies ahead if I could find a way to trust the river…surrender to the meanderings and forward moving momentum of my life…let it takes its course………..but not by being passive.
The river is full of life, creative force and has definite direction. As it journeys along it is also stirring things up and carrying resources and creating life-giving energy while at the same time just being a river flowing.
I love that river. It is part of who I am.
Last night just before sleeping I re-read the pages 64-70 of Be Here Now and asked for guidance about how to express how my connection to Maharaj-ji informs my life. My dreams took me to the banks of my beloved river and I awoke to the realization that Maharaj-ji is a larger expression of what was revealed to me through my experiences on the river banks.
The love, reverence and awe I feel for both the river and Maharaj-ji opens me up to loving myself and others because in their presence I become acutely aware of eternity and its perfection. Both the river and Maharaj-ji seem to flow in a timeless dimension where all is as it should be. When I sit in that presence I feel a deep peace and I recognize that all of us are part of that perfection just the way we are.
I live many hours drive from the Susquehanna now but the experience is with me always.
“Maharaj-ji is not further away from you at this moment than the thought you’re thinking now..” page 64
Just this morning I walked out of the my new, little apartment and walked past the big home I just moved from. I saw the new owner’s car in the driveway and had a moment of the sinking feeling of loss that comes from attachment. I kept walking with my sadness around the corner on this gorgeous autumn day in New England and was greeted by a huge, vibrant rainbow. It was an immediate reminder that although I may not be on the banks of that river anymore, I am always resting in the eternal flow of this beautiful life and all is as it should be.
p.s. I’ve been sitting in a coffee shop for the last hour typing this since I haven’t been wired for internet at my new place yet. Just as I was writing about seeing the rainbow a man at the counter exclaimed to someone, “Can you believe that rainbow is still visible in the sky?” ………..…always there.