I talk about my kids in pretty much every post. It is hard not to. Anyone who is or has been a mom to young children will understand why. This is what I do all hours of the day. Be with my childen. Oh, and nights too. Neither of them sleeps through the night yet. So to say they are on my mind a lot is the understatement of the year.
“ If only I didn’t have these kids around my neck” (page 33)
Oh, how often this thought pulses through my veins. If only…I could go on a meditation retreat and REALLY figure myself out…I could start doing yoga again…I could chant more often…the list goes on.
The thing is, my children are my mediation retreats, they are my yoga teachers, they are my chanting companions. It is just my head that I am stuck in. If I stop and change the way I look at it, I can see that having kids is just what I need. They take every little bit of me that I do not like and bring it out in the open. I don’t need to go sit in a cave to figure out how to be more patient. That lesson lies in my son trying to make our kitchen floor into a swimming pool using a cup and our kitchen sink. Yoga poses are endless when trying to hold my children as I do the dishes or cook dinner. And chanting, well, kids LOVE to sing the SAME songs OVER and OVER again. Is chanting the names of God not the perfect thing to do?
I once asked Ram Dass how to go about handling the sticky times with my children. He told me to just see them as souls. We are all just souls. Do not get caught in the roles. “I am you MOTHER and you LISTEN to your MOTHER!” No, none of that.
“The Spirit is the Spirit” (page 30)
And here we are. Now. Just where we are supposed to be. No, I am not missing out on wonderful retreats by having kids. I am missing out on having kids by thinking I need to be at a meditation retreat.