Nov 13 2010

There and Back

Sue_Callaway

She fell into the deep space between the words and was met by the unopened hand of fate.

At times I have let go into the what-is-ness, the OM, the void …free falling, unfettered into now. Going nowhere and everywhere all at once.

Moments that moved form the “form into the formless ”  pg 93

Once when I was about 17-years-old I was riding on a bus. I’d been meditating lots and feeling really free. I was at the back of the bus enjoying the ride one moment and then… there was no time and I was feeling incredible, heart-bursting love for all of the faces around me. And  then… there was no me looking at that but just the LOVE. I was it and it was me…all of it.

Another time…standing outside the Dakota building on Central Park West just days after John Lennon died. Thousands of voices sung through the tears … “all we are saying, is give peace a chance”. My heart was broken open both by the deep grief I was feeling and the tsunami of love in the aftermath of the earth quaking news of his death. I felt all of us as one heart singing out from the same soul place.

Krishna Das chanting me into beyond the beyond with Hey Ma Durga or Bhagavan Das taking me to the edge and back with deep, rhythmic, trance-y , incantational Jai Kali Ma

All of it a journey to my heart.

Why this matters is because it opens my heart to a deep compassion for all of us and helps inform the way I live my life.

In all of these moments “something gets so esencey you feel you are touching God”. (Pg 92).And in that space there is nothing to do. It just IS. And we all are it.

Moving from Form to Formless…from Being Here Now to Being Love Now.

For me, the pure ideas…the essency part of what is manifest was the bridge. Those essency parts were accessed by going fully into and beyond the form. Complete presence. I only get there by surrendering to Grace…by getting out of my own way.

It’s like going in through the out door.

Sometimes it happens through joy…sometimes through pain.

Moment

IT HAS HAPPENED NOW.

NO MORE WONDERING ABOUT THE WHEN OR HOW OF SUCH MOMENTS.

ANOTHER STEP TOWARD LIFE’S FULL EXPRESION OF KARMIC MAYHEM.

NEVER WOULD I HAVE IMAGINED THE MAGNITUDE OF THE FORCE OF SUCH AN INVISIBLE WIND THAT WOULD BLOW FROM FATE’S OVALLED MOUTH

TO SEND ME SOARING..FEET LONG SINCE FORGETTING THE PRESS OF EARTH

LIFTED…I THOUGHT…AND CARRIED AS IF ON A WAVE OF WORDS AND DOINGS…LIFE AND DEATH…SO POWERFUL AS TO TSUNAMI THE ME OF NOW INTO OBLIVION

HOPING FOR THAT I SUPPOSE

AN ANNIHILATION OF THIS CURRENT CONFIGURATION OF ME

INSTEAD…HERE REMAINS ALL OF MY ME-NESS

NOW BATTERED, NAKED, DRIPPING WET AND SHIVERING AS THE WAVE RETREATS

ME- STANDING STRONGER SOMEHOW FOR HAVING BEEN TAKEN ON THAT RIDE

There and back again.  It is all grace.


Aug 20 2010

Big fires and little lights all draw the moth to freedom

Jonathan_Anderson

(P 14) “NO ACCIDENTS!” “It’s all determined.” “It’s just your vantage point that you’re sort of . . . stuck in.”  Relinquishing control over this moment is not the same thing as angrily judging the moment, then tossing it aside; far from it. “Going beyond” the judgment, beyond the paradox, beyond the ego IS the freedom. Except you don’t ‘go’ anywhere. Where would you go?

In these pages, we see messages of being moved through fire, drawn though transformation. The first time I felt that ‘pull’ of God, I was about 5 years old in North Carolina, wide open and trusting the church my family attended. For some reason, one day at church, I felt pulled to sit close, not in the mezzanine with my family. Then, when the minister asked for anybody who felt called to Baptism to come forward, I found my 5 year old body moving forward. It was one of the most powerful moments in my life. In that moment, I was a moth drawn to the light of God. A 5 year-old volunteered. Sometimes I forget that feeling, that draw. Again, I am so grateful for the teachers that come into my life and remind me (Ram Dass, bloggers on this site, friends that have been on my path, the special Angels in my world). Y’all are the light.

Here’s the thing: Maybe I’m still the goo in the cocoon (see other post below) before becoming the moth/butterfly. What can I do about that? Nada, nothing, zilch, zero. So I hang out beyond the expectations by accepting whatever I am, wherever I am, as best I can in that moment. I am not limited by the expectation that I should be a moth, or if I am a moth already, that I should be drawn into the flame just yet. For now, I just love all of this light–the big fires from each of you, and the smaller lights of fleeting circumstances.

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So many ways to put words on all of this. And so many ways to interpret it all!  Please visit www.gatehealing.com/blog and www.twitter.com/gatehealing for other perspectives, thoughts, and meditations. And as always, please read the comments on all of our posts on this site (simply click on the “3 comments” text at the bottom of each post)–there are so many beautiful teachers out there who are sharing here. You can also see our discussions with each other. Also, friend me at www.facebook.com/gatehealing
~~Jon