Nov 20 2010

LOVE IS

Sue_Callaway

ALWAYS THERE

Question is :

can you see it? pg 102

I was driving home from work yesterday afternoon and the nearly-full moon was floating in front of me. A chalk -white ball, suspended ghost-like in the late-afternoon, pale blue sky.

I was suddenly fascinated by it and couldn’t understand why all of the people in the cars around me and walking the sidewalks weren’t  showing signs of the jaw dropping awe I was feeling.

“Look! Look! “I wanted to yell! “Isn’t it incredible?”

Then I really saw what was going on. They were me. I was seeing how often I walk and drive through  my days oblivious to the the opportunities to move into that place of wonder and awe and gratitude….and yet, it is always there.

I sort of forget about it…although less and less these days . But when by Grace I take notice of those always-there moments…the soft-glow moon, a delicate, intricate  tangle of tree branches silhouetted against a night sky, the warm, compassionate eyes of  an elderly lady when I dropped my coffee while rushing out a door, an unsolicited hug from my son… if I notice, then I am transformed. Taken from the mundane to the magical, from unconsciousness to awareness and gratitude, from my head to my heart.

It’s that way for me as I walk this path of devotion. I can forget sometimes to remember.

love-serve-remember …a simple path to peace.

So even though I never sat in the heavy heat of an ashram courtyard in India chanting and holding  Maharaj-ji’s sun-baked feet in my hands and I didn’t ride on that bus full of love deciding where to look for him only to discover that there was never anything to decide……I don’t have to be there to go there…It is just always here. The love is always right where I am.

I am deeply grateful to all of those who did spend time with Maharaj-ji and brought back the stories and experiences  and that they so generously share . …And the love.

I lose myself in that love. It feels to me like the “limitless, undying love that shines around me like a million suns “ that John Lennon sings of in my favorite Beatles song Across the Universe. And it …”calls me on and on”.

I have no explanation for this sweet flow of love I am opened to by my connection and devotion to a man I never met and who never told anyone to do anything. I only know that he is always there.

I feel it. I know it. I am forever grateful.


JAI GURU DEV


Nov 13 2010

There and Back

Sue_Callaway

She fell into the deep space between the words and was met by the unopened hand of fate.

At times I have let go into the what-is-ness, the OM, the void …free falling, unfettered into now. Going nowhere and everywhere all at once.

Moments that moved form the “form into the formless ”  pg 93

Once when I was about 17-years-old I was riding on a bus. I’d been meditating lots and feeling really free. I was at the back of the bus enjoying the ride one moment and then… there was no time and I was feeling incredible, heart-bursting love for all of the faces around me. And  then… there was no me looking at that but just the LOVE. I was it and it was me…all of it.

Another time…standing outside the Dakota building on Central Park West just days after John Lennon died. Thousands of voices sung through the tears … “all we are saying, is give peace a chance”. My heart was broken open both by the deep grief I was feeling and the tsunami of love in the aftermath of the earth quaking news of his death. I felt all of us as one heart singing out from the same soul place.

Krishna Das chanting me into beyond the beyond with Hey Ma Durga or Bhagavan Das taking me to the edge and back with deep, rhythmic, trance-y , incantational Jai Kali Ma

All of it a journey to my heart.

Why this matters is because it opens my heart to a deep compassion for all of us and helps inform the way I live my life.

In all of these moments “something gets so esencey you feel you are touching God”. (Pg 92).And in that space there is nothing to do. It just IS. And we all are it.

Moving from Form to Formless…from Being Here Now to Being Love Now.

For me, the pure ideas…the essency part of what is manifest was the bridge. Those essency parts were accessed by going fully into and beyond the form. Complete presence. I only get there by surrendering to Grace…by getting out of my own way.

It’s like going in through the out door.

Sometimes it happens through joy…sometimes through pain.

Moment

IT HAS HAPPENED NOW.

NO MORE WONDERING ABOUT THE WHEN OR HOW OF SUCH MOMENTS.

ANOTHER STEP TOWARD LIFE’S FULL EXPRESION OF KARMIC MAYHEM.

NEVER WOULD I HAVE IMAGINED THE MAGNITUDE OF THE FORCE OF SUCH AN INVISIBLE WIND THAT WOULD BLOW FROM FATE’S OVALLED MOUTH

TO SEND ME SOARING..FEET LONG SINCE FORGETTING THE PRESS OF EARTH

LIFTED…I THOUGHT…AND CARRIED AS IF ON A WAVE OF WORDS AND DOINGS…LIFE AND DEATH…SO POWERFUL AS TO TSUNAMI THE ME OF NOW INTO OBLIVION

HOPING FOR THAT I SUPPOSE

AN ANNIHILATION OF THIS CURRENT CONFIGURATION OF ME

INSTEAD…HERE REMAINS ALL OF MY ME-NESS

NOW BATTERED, NAKED, DRIPPING WET AND SHIVERING AS THE WAVE RETREATS

ME- STANDING STRONGER SOMEHOW FOR HAVING BEEN TAKEN ON THAT RIDE

There and back again.  It is all grace.


Oct 18 2010

Rotating around the Sun

Zach_Leary

Today is my birthday. Wow. How about that? Another rotation around the sun has taken place and I’ve been a witness to it. I’m never one for revelry on my birthday – it’s hard to take the self indulgence of that me-focussed love. Of course, like most of us, I do reflect about my life on the day. Everything I’ve ever done in the last 37 years has led me to this point…all that kind of stuff.

Also like most of us, my life has turned out exactly how I hadn’t imagined it! As Sri Sri John Lennon said “life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

There was a time when I just saw the little old man in the blanket. Of course it’s all just perception – we see what we need to see. But it’s deeper than that too. I wasn’t ready to be seen, or to have my heart touched, or to surrender my intellect in favor of compassion. It was just a little old man in a blanket laying there throwing fruit at people. Charming.

As my journey continues through the days, months and years I find more important now than ever to just focus on the moments. I was reminded last night by a great teacher that perfection lies within each moment and that result is enlightenment. If you just string together a few moments of Gods love that is within you then you will be see it everywhere else.

I’m not sure when or what the moment was when I stopped seeing the little old man in the blanket and started to see boundless love and universal energy. I can’t say that there was ever one lightbulb moment. Everything that I’d been doing was just kind of hanging out in black and white – comfortable but very neutral. When I slowly started integrating high definition colors and sounds then the man in the blanket became a sea of perfection and being happy was just easier than being bummed out.

I was dancing and singing with my Hare Krishna brothers and sisters last night. Talk about HD color and sound – their tradition does have amazing potent bhav. I’m grateful to be willing and free enough to learn from all paths and traditions.

Sometimes the potent and concise eloquence in Be Here Now fools me into thinking the practice is easier than it actually is. I get why – its important to know that the gurus (gods) love is easily accessible and does not discriminate. But it takes work. There’s so much to let go of. The ego is very powerful in the west. Competition, success, achievements and potential are very hard to play a balancing act with. We’re taught to achieve more and more and more. Experiencing bliss in every of life’s moments takes intense sadhana, the guru can only do so much. I see Maharaji-ji’s little eyes that are barely open, I see them asking me “what sadhana have you done today? how about seva?” Could be a trap but I see these things.

On this birthday, yes I am “the desire to be enlightened.”