Ram Dass Now

A great yogi once was asked what’s the secret to enlightenment, he replied “when I’m happy I laugh, when I’m sad I cry, when I’m hungry I eat and when I’m tired I sleep.”

Simplify everything. Our egos and emotions want to complicate it to no end making us think that our issues are somehow the defining factor in our experience. That may be true as it relates to our perception but the trick at getting through our issues and being here and happy right now is to simplify everything. This is not an original thought I know, I’m just saying it because it rings true to my heart at this moment and I need to feel that.

I’ve always found that my tendency is to want to go “through the doorway too fast.” My intellectual mind wants there to be some trick to being on the path like I have to learn all of these complicated mantras, I have to be a level 3 yogi, I have to be a scholar of the vedas, etc. All of these things are great I guess but most of the time I think it’s ego that’s driving my motivation to do all of these things faster and better. My favorite beautiful yogi teacher Saul David Raye always reminds his students that the ancient yogi mystics never heard of Level 3 yogis, that we made that up. And I’m learning that all of the conflicting motivation makes it hard to deal with my issues (or with others) a problem. Matters of the heart when infused with ego sure does make for some confusing realities.

I feel that there’s a little misunderstanding with how eastern spirituality is being practiced in the west. Because of the explosion of yoga and bhakti there is a whole new world that is being exposed to us in the west. So many new ideas, texts, asanas, chants, teachers and traditions. We get so hungry to learn them all but as we all know the far out thing is that they are all telling us to Be Here Now. That it’s all ready within. Just don’t go “through the doorway with your ego” (pg 98). That’s it. Again, simplify everything.

It’s so frustratingly perfect that Maharaj-ji would constantly reply to queries with “love people. feed people. remember God.” I can see it now – all of these smart westerners coming to him with all of these complicated problems and questions and then he would just look at you and say that. Over and over again. Ram ram ram ram ram. Over and over again. Ram ram ram ram.

It all sort of lies in the “funny about that” place. Whenever I find myself in conflict I just want to reply “love serve remember” or repeat the maha mantra. I want to go there so badly but I have to learn that even though I want things to be that simple I must understand that everybody else’s experiences are different. We are all unique and are in different spots on the path. Furthermore I’ve also learned that if you try to force your trip on somebody who doesn’t want to hear it then you just make matters worse. When in suffering or conflict finding that delicate place where there is beautiful common ground is the sacred dance. That’s the place where you realize that most of the conflict you may be in is actually quite small and insignificant. You go through so much struggle to realize that love really is such a sweet solution.

We are nearing the end of our blogging journey. Only one more post left. I feel that this week is inspiring me to report back on how this book can be applied to my daily life. What it did for our culture is immense, what Maharaj-ji was like is very interesting but how we can apply this to our lives and be better people needs to be said. It’s my hope that I can contribute in a small way.

Being in love, sharing sacred song

I grew up along the banks of the big, beautiful Susquehanna river. Its wide expanse is bordered by a variety of trees, bushes and animals sometimes submerged and re-emerging in a new form. An ever-changing scene of non-delineated is-ness. Always changing but also always the same overall happening.

Years ago the river was contained by small dikes that allowed an unobstructed view all along the edge. Now the view is compromised by large walls put in place to hold back its raging waters when they rise to flood.

I would go to the river often to be comforted by its ever-flowing, steady presence and found solace in knowing it was always there. It is one of my sacred places.I could sit on those banks and watch its purposeful meanderings for hours and the concerns of my heart and head would be carried downstream as I contemplated the mystery and magic of it all.

Its murky, brown waters although often calm and serene would sometimes become a raging torrent. But no matter the mood the waters flowed. I could surrender to that flow and trust that I too could be carried along the currents to whatever lies ahead if I could find a way to trust the river…surrender to the meanderings and forward moving momentum of my life…let it takes its course………..but not by being passive.

The river is full of life, creative force and has definite direction. As it journeys along it is also stirring things up and carrying resources and creating life-giving energy while at the same time just being a river flowing.

I love that river. It is part of who I am.

Last night just before sleeping I re-read the pages 64-70 of Be Here Now and asked for guidance about how to express how my connection to Maharaj-ji informs my life. My dreams took me to the banks of my beloved river and I awoke to the realization that Maharaj-ji is a larger expression of what was revealed to me through my experiences on the river banks.

The love, reverence and awe I feel for both the river and Maharaj-ji opens me up to loving myself and others because in their presence I become acutely aware of eternity and its perfection. Both the river and Maharaj-ji seem to flow in a timeless dimension where all is as it should be. When I sit in that presence I feel a deep peace and I recognize that all of us are part of that perfection just the way we are.

I live many hours drive from the Susquehanna now but the experience is with me always.

“Maharaj-ji is not further away from you at this moment than the thought you’re thinking now..” page 64

Just this morning I walked out of the my new, little apartment and walked past the big home I just moved from.  I saw the new owner’s car in the driveway and had a moment of the sinking feeling of loss that comes from attachment. I kept walking with my sadness around the corner on this gorgeous autumn day in New England and was greeted by a huge, vibrant rainbow. It was an immediate reminder that although I may not be on the banks of that river anymore, I am always resting in the eternal flow of this beautiful life and all is as it should be.

p.s. I’ve been sitting in a coffee shop for the last hour typing this since I haven’t been wired for internet at my new place yet. Just as I was writing about seeing the rainbow a man at the counter exclaimed  to someone, “Can you believe that rainbow is still visible in the sky?” ………..…always there.

Last week I talked about everything being my sadhana. Everything. The next day I found out my Nana has cancer. A few days later, I got the stomach flew. So did my 2 boys.  I felt like fluid was coming out of every possible opening…throwing up…leaking breast milk everywhere…diarrhea…sweat. Let’s just say I did not look my best. I could not use my brain very well (which was probably a good thing), but I did have one thought:

Very funny Maharaj-ji.

He was putting me on. He heard my post, and came back with a “try and make THIS your sadhana!” After I allowed Maharaj-ji into this whole experience, I was able to let go a little bit. As I was bent over the toilet, wallowing in my own self-pity (ooohhhhhhhhhh, this is so haaaaaaaaaaarrrrrdddddd), I would just picture Maharaj-ji smiling at me. At one point, I was even able to become the witness, seeing this intense drama unfold before me. I decided that this was some sort of sick fire-work show that Maharaj-ji was putting on for me. With my 2 children and I throwing up, it was as though it was the finale the whole time.

A real life lesson. I can sit here and read every book made on making my life my sadhana, but the real learning comes when I must apply it. It is relaxing to sit and read and feel all high on life, but when the going gets tough is when the transformations are made.

That’s the problem with being a book addict. I am a spiritual book addict, always thinking that reading the next book is going to get me another step closer to God. I have been doing this with bhakti. Trying to read about it, and really get the method down. I never feel like I can grasp it fully though. I get these bits and pieces, and when I try to piece together how I think I should be doing it, it just feels off. Page 63 came to me at a beautiful time. Ram Dass explains bhakti in 10 words, and it all makes sense.

“You just love until you and the beloved become one”

I can put my books away now. I can slow down now. God isn’t in any of these books. God is in me. By reading as many books as possible, I am not going to get to God any faster. “You’ve got to go at the rate that you can go”. No rush. So lately, when I have a few moments to spare, while I would normally read, I just close my eyes. And I love. I love my husband, my children, my family, my friends, and all of you that I have not yet met on this plane, until we become one. In that, I find God.

I often get caught up in thinking…. I was going to say more to that sentence, adding an “about ….”. But I’ll leave it at that. Anyways, I think about Maharaj-ji and me a lot. A lot of that thinking comes down to this…. Is he really a being who is communicating with me at a different level of consciousness? Is he a ghastly spirit that slips through etheric realms to end up everywhere? Watching. Guiding. My thinking mind always figures whatever everyone is saying he’s doing… can’t be.

Then I have these moments when I feel really connected to him. Close. Guided. I only know about him through Ram Dass and through various books. And some personal experience. I, like Zack, was born after his physical self could have any direct influence on me.

I still ask and question and doubt (because I have to until I am done with doubt) about Maharaj-ji and if he’s “my guru” and if he’s guiding me. I always come to some conclusion about the matter…

My friend Jon “Bharat” Seskevich once told me “Blake, it seems Maharaj-ji’s boys are after you. There’s nothing you can do about it.” He was refering to the fact that, I am so deeply drawn to Ram Dass’ teachings. I have listened to Krishna Das, Jai Uttal, and David Newman so much that I had to start a kirtan radio show (fulllotuskirtan.com). Had to. And for some reason I love the greatest of all monkeys, Hanuman, And then I met and started a sweet friendship with Jon himself (a Baba devotee). Maharaj-ji’s boys were/are indeed after me.

My take on this is that it makes no difference if Maharaj-ji is reaching me through the ether and guiding my actions. Simply, his time on this earth plane touched and changed people who are now changing my life. His hands are reaching through time, space, personalities, music, lectures, voices, and eyes to alter the course of my life. To me in this moment, the guru is not somewhere out there or in any picture or place, his influence is in everyone I meet because he was, and everything is unfloding from his be-ing…. all quite lawfully and simply. However, I’ll admit feeling guided and tethered is quite an awesome trip and I want it. But I’m accepting the journey as it is right now.

Blake

fulllotuskirtan.com

A video message…

(P 14) “NO ACCIDENTS!” “It’s all determined.” “It’s just your vantage point that you’re sort of . . . stuck in.”  Relinquishing control over this moment is not the same thing as angrily judging the moment, then tossing it aside; far from it. “Going beyond” the judgment, beyond the paradox, beyond the ego IS the freedom. Except you don’t ‘go’ anywhere. Where would you go?

In these pages, we see messages of being moved through fire, drawn though transformation. The first time I felt that ‘pull’ of God, I was about 5 years old in North Carolina, wide open and trusting the church my family attended. For some reason, one day at church, I felt pulled to sit close, not in the mezzanine with my family. Then, when the minister asked for anybody who felt called to Baptism to come forward, I found my 5 year old body moving forward. It was one of the most powerful moments in my life. In that moment, I was a moth drawn to the light of God. A 5 year-old volunteered. Sometimes I forget that feeling, that draw. Again, I am so grateful for the teachers that come into my life and remind me (Ram Dass, bloggers on this site, friends that have been on my path, the special Angels in my world). Y’all are the light.

Here’s the thing: Maybe I’m still the goo in the cocoon (see other post below) before becoming the moth/butterfly. What can I do about that? Nada, nothing, zilch, zero. So I hang out beyond the expectations by accepting whatever I am, wherever I am, as best I can in that moment. I am not limited by the expectation that I should be a moth, or if I am a moth already, that I should be drawn into the flame just yet. For now, I just love all of this light–the big fires from each of you, and the smaller lights of fleeting circumstances.

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So many ways to put words on all of this. And so many ways to interpret it all!  Please visit www.gatehealing.com/blog and www.twitter.com/gatehealing for other perspectives, thoughts, and meditations. And as always, please read the comments on all of our posts on this site (simply click on the “3 comments” text at the bottom of each post)–there are so many beautiful teachers out there who are sharing here. You can also see our discussions with each other. Also, friend me at www.facebook.com/gatehealing
~~Jon

A message from Ram Dass…

For more from Ram Dass visit www.RamDass.org.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to know. And it has been in looking for the answer that I have found my way to this blog.

At a very young age I began to notice there was something I was connected to that had nothing to do with my biology or my life circumstances.

I sensed there was a world within and beyond the world I was perceiving with my eyes and set about exploring …map-less and determined to find my way.

For a long time I was completely unaware that I was already on a path and that I was never without guidance.

I now know it was Grace that turned my attention toward Eastern spirituality  by way of music, books, workshops, meditation, yoga and  in the past ten or so years…kirtan,kirtan,kirtan.

Many of the most profound moments of my life over the past 30+ years can be traced back  almost directly to when I first came upon Ram Dass’s writings.

My heart and mind were blown open and in the midst of my daily days with all of the ups downs and in-betweens I have been sustained and nourished by  an unimpeded flow of light into that open place.

My hope is that by sharing my thoughts and feelings in this 108 days of  blogging I might type something along the way that resonates for someone and helps them connect to the wisdom, love and light that Ram Dass so freely shares .

This blogging space feels like kirtan to me.  Many voices coming together (although in typed words here) to open our hearts and take us home to ourselves.

I also hold the hope that through my meandering rambles I might come close to expressing the gratitude I feel for the opportunity to explore and express my experiences  with ‘Be Here Now’ in an intentional way and in community with others.

A virtual satsang with Maharaj-ji smiling on us all….so good.

Ram Dass and me circa 1993