Ram Dass Now

There is a perfection to the web of life that we can’t always see. The forest for the trees? Yes, I think it’s something like that.

Last spring I was asking for a natural way to share my column. My boyfriend was here on his first visit from New Zealand and I had been away from email for a while. One day I sat down to go through some of them and I saw a message from my sweet sister-friend Deneise Newman, a forwarded call for writers from Stephanie Reiter at Love Serve Remember Foundation.

Stephanie’s invitation to talk further came just as Andrew was getting ready to leave, and I told Stephanie so when I replied. The warmth in her response back to me made me realize, “I have a shot at this.” Connection.

I loved answering the questions she asked, name dropping Vrindaban, acknowledging the Dead shows as being as influential as any blue, oddly square-shaped book.

This blog brought me back home again in an unexpected way. That is, I wasn’t focused on Ram Dass or even NKB satsang. Ah, see, there are not limitations to the guru, to the love RD is writing about in Be Love Now. Now I’m smiling as Durga Das comes on my Pandora. I had recently been at a kirtan with him and Mira recently. Yes, we are everywhere.

Nevertheless, finding myself expanded as a writer — and nothing could have been a more perfect launching pad — simply by doing nothing: by staying home and getting to know my beau after 18 years beyond those beaches in sunny Greece . . . it’s quite amazing how we grew into each other over these years and seas, but that’s another story.

See? We don’t see the whole web. It seems as if there are other stories. But it’s all one.

I got my natural way to share my column. That’s one major boon.

I got to read every page of Be Here Now, those mysterious pages, looking through the images to see Sita moving aside. Surfing with Shiva while I read Jed McKenna’s books and my whole world fell apart. Writing with these pages gave me a generous place to sink into, process and create about the changes: Hail the vampire!

Hail the Now.

Hare Hare Mahadeva Shambo chants through my Pandora soundtrack. Kashi Vishwanata Gange.

See, I sat on the banks of the Ganges and Continue reading

Disclaimer – I really have no idea how bhatki works. I’m just figuring it out like the wayward pilgrim I am. But I believe what page 63 tells me “The Way Bhakti Works – you just love until you and the beloved become one.”

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship with Maharaj-ji. Trying to really analyze it. Trying to figure out what can’t really be figured out. Trying to figure out how I ended up here. I was born the year he left his body, so obviously I didn’t know him personally. I didn’t see the little old man in the blanket or have him pat me on the head. Yet, I can feel something tangible when I think about how I know him. Like most devotees I keep pictures of him in a few places that commonly cross my eyes. Doing so provides me with a vibrational opportunity to grow along spiritual lines that are rooted in love. For reasons I’m still not entirely sure of, he is direct vibrational access to unconditional love. When I look at a picture of Maharaj-ji the first thought that pops into my mind is “love, serve, remember.” It’s as if he’s telling me to make every action an opportunity to practice sadhana. Every conversation can be an opportunity to connect, every drive through LA in traffic can be an opportunity to be more patient and forgiving, every task performed at work can be an opportunity to be grateful for all of Gods abundance.

For me the relationship is based on something like a “level of consciousness, a frequency of vibration, a connection to another plane.” (pg 62). That’s perfect because…it’s funny, I don’t really want anything from Maharaj-ji. I’m constantly dumbfounded that my love for the guru is so based in vibrational love. I don’t ask for things, I don’t pray for specific revelations. I just sit back and let the powerful metaphor of his life envelop me in a place of loving awareness that gives me a chance to be free. It’s amazing when it works and juicy when it doesn’t! The big a ha moments come when I get in the way of the grace and act out of ego. It’s so clear when things are out of sync.

I was raised an intellectual. I was taught that the power to change my circumstances was through a well planned intellectual road map that when well executed would land me in a better place. That understanding the ins and outs of my mind was alone enough to give me liberation. So, this whole business of just loving everyone, simply and purely, sometimes makes no sense whatsoever. Add on this whole idea of loving this little old man in a blanket I never met is even more comical. Here I am at age 37 worshiping Hanuman and Lord Krishna! Me??! How did that happen?

What happened for me was that my game ran out. All of my ins and outs, all of my plotting and planning just stopped working. Once I felt what it was like to be unconditionally loved and cosmically understood I knew there was no other way. Sound familiar?

I am a witness to how Neem Karoli Babas grace is being passed on to the next generation. It may be arrogant of me to say, but I feel that the next generation of devotees really gets to taste the nectar of his teachings. I don’t have the nostalgia of once knowing him or the pain of once losing him. I just have the simple message of how bhakti works. That’s more than enough.