Ram Dass Now

There may be no place to go, just the OM home of the here and now, but I’ve been traveling for the last two weeks and, let me tell you, I’ve been a lot of places both inside and out.

First I went to Albuquerque for my goddaughter’s bat mitzvah. There was the mishpuka (a probably misspelled Yiddish word that means all the crazy relatives) and all the chaos involved in helping to put on and photograph a series of events (rehearsals, meals with out-of-towners, the main service, the big party). There also was my goddaughter’s absolutely exquisite singing of her Torah portions and the blessings and prayers. For her, it was truly a spiritual initiation, a rising into the next level of both adulthood (or teenager-hood) and commitment to her path (at least her path at this moment of her life), and a real sense of community. But being Jewish never cut it for me. Being Jewish meant bagels and lox and The New York Times. I loved her singing, but somehow Sanskrit resonates more with me than Hebrew.

Then I went to Santa Fe, where I spent days with my ex-father-in-law, the 90-year-old patriarch of a large family of Maharajji devotees. He’s starting the process of turning inward. He’s not into storytelling, doesn’t seem to have real highs or lows, just a steady march on shaky legs into a hopefully dignified ending. He is living the lessons of changing and letting go that are so necessary at any stage of life, but especially the one he’s now facing. And the same is true for his wife of the last 30 years, as her life changes along with his.

I saw old friends. Some are going through extremely difficult times of suffering—loved ones dying, children with serious problems, career frustrations, economic difficulties—heartbreak in all its manifestations. All the sorrows of the world. While others are rising above, getting through the hard times and coming out stronger and more alive and more creative.

The wheel of karma. The law of life. It’s in the midst of all this living that we learn to let go. It’s loving fiercely and letting go. Parenting and letting go. Watching parents go. Living more here, in the moment, in the now of life, whatever it may hold, whatever it may ask us to hold.

And then I went to Taos, the home of America’s Hanuman, the one temple in the West that bears Maharajji’s name. And oh, what a tempest in a teapot that’s been over the decades! The factions, the fights, the wounds that have been inflicted and never let go of. Along with the rich silent heart space where the beautiful murti of Hanuman and Maharajji’s tucket share equal billing.

Ram Dass created the temple inadvertently. I don’t know where his desire stemmed from, but he was the one who had a 600-pound marble murti sculpted in India (in his flying pose, as he was going to have to cross another ocean) and brought to America. We had a small bandhara on some land in northern New Mexico, where the crate was opened. And suddenly there was the question: What are we going to do with him? Where will he live?

He wound up living in Taos, and it’s there that I felt the pull of polarity the strongest. The temple/ashram is a large container for the area seekers and devotees, the hungry or just crazy. I always thought of it as a big pot of soup, a caldron, really, and Maharajji picks up his ladle and stirs the soup, and all us little veggies collide into each other, and in the process, melt a bit more. My old (and getting older) friends spend less or no time at the temple, some with nostalgia for the good old days, while some actively oppose its existence.

In the end, we all define our own path. There’s no need to worry about “finding” ourselves. Here we are. Doing what we do. Suffering/loving/suffering/loving in a million different ways. It gets so clear: love it all. Love what’s happening now, right in front of you. When you keep loving, keep the heart open, and try to be kind, even the suffering is love.

Today I fly home. As if I ever left.

Taos Hanuman

I’m so thrilled to share this weeks post that I can hardly contain myself! I don’t know where to start. Fortunately, I’m reporting to you from Taos, fresh off the heels of the magical mystery Maharaji-ji mahasamadhi tour celebration at the ashram. Unfortunately, the bodies need for sleep is getting the best of me so collecting my thoughts is tough.

Jai guru dev! This was my first trip to the Taos Neem Karoli Baba ashram, I’m happy to say that just when I didn’t think any more light could be shined my way, the experience this weekend blew the light bulbs out. I am so blessed to be part of a satsang that supports me in my liquid wandering as I find my way on the path. Every soul was so kind and welcoming and beaming with the guru’s love. I felt at home. The day in which mahasamadhi is celebrated is really unique and powerful. Pilgrims from all walks of life gather at the ashram to express their devotion in the ways they know how. Some Indians come from far distances, some locals are there – but all together to express the common desire to keep the flame alive.

Since I’m in the middle of blogging about Be Here Now there was no way that I could visit Taos, New Mexico and not visit the Lama Foundation. After all, the Lama Foundation gave birth to many aspects of this legendary tome. I wanted to, at least for a moment, touch my fingers to the dirt where Ram Dass espoused these words that have changed so many of our lives. It was like visiting the original source fountain. Getting to Lama was, however, as adventure in itself.

Stephanie and I decided to rely on our favorite electronic guru, the GPS, to lead the way. We fired it up on the iPad and low and behold our friend Google Maps found our location and laid out some pretty specific directions. Away we went! Jai ho! Up the 522 highway we went following all of the directions that oh…led us about 15 miles away from where we should have been landing us in the middle of a dirt road in the Carson National Forest. Just before we set off Stephanie expressed that she wanted to go on a nice mountain drive. Well, we sure as hell got that. The Carson National forest is really beautiful by the way. Anyway, FYI – anyone using Google Maps to find the Lama Foundation – beware, it will take you to the middle of nowhere.

We quickly became very aware that Maharaji-ji was playing tricks on us. We were looking for the Lama Foundation and instead we got beautiful mountains and a real live llama.

Driving down the dirt road looking for our turn off we were desperate to find a human being out there. Anyone would do really. Turned out we ran into a very pleasant cowboy who was driving towards us in his pick up truck. We flagged him down and asked him if he knew where the Lama Foundation was. He, without hesitation, directed us to go down the road about another mile or so and there we would see a couple horses grazing on a property with a bridge, and then just over that bridge we would see a farm with a herd of llamas. Lama, llama. Who knows, right? It was all very confusing. Sure enough, we get to this farm and saw some llamas…in the middle of the New Mexico mountains, while totally lost looking for the Lama Foundation where Be Here Now was birthed!

Not the Lama Foundation!

Oh my. To make a long story short we realized that this was, in fact, not our destination and that we best get ourselves off this persons land and try to get back on track. Some locals back in town set us straight and directed us 5 miles down the highway to the clearly marked signs which we missed the first time around.

Alas! We made it. Just being there was enough. The very kind property caretaker greeted us as we walked upon the property and very lovingly explained the properties history both before and after the 1996 fires that nearly destroyed the place for good. Our time was short however, and we needed to get back on the road. It was a short pilgrimage, just enough to touch the dirt and commune with the spirit.

The Lama Foundation! Found it.

Tricks were played, beauty was seen, friends were made, satsang was in full effects, bellies were full and love was all around. It is such a gift to have a spirit of adventure knowing that it all turns out ok in the end. Being lost and then found is really what it’s all about, right?