Ram Dass Now

I LOVE my Pa-pa!

So I’m going camping this weekend with two of my favorite people in the world. . .and in Central Texas, the weather is 50’s at night, mid 80’s in the day, and sunny! I’m looking for an old pocket knife to take camping, and I find the last letter that Papa wrote to me, my mom and my brother when he visited before his passing. I had a great time reading and remembering. This was a real man of honor and spirit; no drama, no frills, no magic. Just compassion and integrity rolled up with intelligence and wit. Imagine my mirth when I read “I am my own grandpa!!”

Such a gentle human being, a spiritual person. Just what you’d think of as a wonderful grandfather in the movies. He has been one of the most influential people in my life. In life, he was funny, resourceful, energetic, intelligent, service oriented, brave, courteous . . . just a beautiful person in life and in death.  So I find him while looking for a pocket knife. . . and I remember him sitting on his porch deep in meditation while undergoing cancer treatment (this, after my post last week about being brave on my porch, was very humbling) . . . I remember him comforting me as a child, I remember him helping me learn how to remember things better by writing things down, I remember him teaching me to wiggle my fingers like a fish (which I’ve now passed to that sweet little 7 yr old girl who had surgery a month ago), and I remember him teaching me to play rummy, and so much more. I love it all. I miss him.  And I get happy tears typing it. Then I remember that he’s no further from me than I am from myself—literally.  He’s here now, and I don’t mean as a ghost or anything. We’re all the same thing. The guru IS you reflected, you just add your interpretation of the reflection . . .

I see that what I respect and admire about Papa, is already totally present in me; if I don’t already have ‘it’ within, how would I know what ‘it’ is that I am respecting and admiring?? I see what I want to become in my grandfather; those are my desires and attachments reflected back—and I just interpret that reflection as a different person I called Papa.

~~~ That is what poured through my heart when I read page 66. The Tao of Papa. ~~~

Thanks for sharing this memory with me! I’ve always looked to Papa as a spiritual teacher for me; as a model of honest spirit. I am so grateful to have been around him, and to feel more as one with him. I didn’t meet Maharajji in a body, but I know my Papa! And those two would have been a hoot!

G’nite Papa,
Love,
Your Little Buddy
____________________________________

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“Because if you’re truthfully here and now there’s no more you . . . That’s the way it works” (Pg 46).

We’ve all been truthfully here at some point. And we’ve all experienced the grief of losing that center, and the longing for it to return. We’ve all chased it, given up, then stumbled on it, often landing face first. And it doesn’t always hurt. Nor does it always smell of roses or jasmine.

The other day, I saw a pink balloon at the base of my stairs, it was barely inflated, just a small sack of air with a pink ribbon. I decided to pop it, pick it up, and toss it in the trash. So I stepped on it and felt it pop, and was thrust into a moment of clarity . Nothing dramatic . . . Just the simple realization that we are all balloons of skin, filled with spirit . . . with the word of God, breath of Maharaj-ji, Jesus, Buddha, etc . And either we slowly deflate and allow our spirit-breath to return to the wholeness of it all, or somebody/something comes along and pops us, freeing our spirit-breath. Either way, we always return to “non-you-ness” somehow . . . and it does not need to be at the moment of our death.

I meditated after this. I didn’t totally dissolve, but I did become more present. I did re-member that being fully in the now means the acceptance that everything co-exists at the same time: Now.  Where fully present means that you are fully connected with everything, everywhere.  When you are literally that connected (and we all really are–read up on quantum physics if you need the science of it), there is no separation from God because you ARE God–you may still be in a pink balloon,  but “it’s all the same stuff,” so there’s no “you” to experience, no set reference point for observation of anything.

You don’t stop existing, you just stop thinking that you do . . . then you may be on the way to freedom; your thoughts are free to roam (since you have a brain while you’re in your balloon); your spirit can mingle with “whoever-ji” (thanks Blake).

So, Hail The Goer. . . then Hail us All. We’re all already gone, we’re just visiting in a balloon, often thinking that we’re separate (ie ‘not here’) and sometimes suffering, sometimes content as a result. Until we either deflate or pop. I never considered a balloon a teacher until the other day.

Great teachers and sages (Jesus, Ghandi, Meher Baba, Yogananda, Maharaj-ji, Ram Dass, etc) fill us in a way that helps us all float so high that we pop, or just as beautifully, land in some new place where we can deflate peacefully. What a great flight! Thank you, Ram Dass, for filling balloons, and for popping them. Namaste’.  _/|\_

Jon

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(P 14) “NO ACCIDENTS!” “It’s all determined.” “It’s just your vantage point that you’re sort of . . . stuck in.”  Relinquishing control over this moment is not the same thing as angrily judging the moment, then tossing it aside; far from it. “Going beyond” the judgment, beyond the paradox, beyond the ego IS the freedom. Except you don’t ‘go’ anywhere. Where would you go?

In these pages, we see messages of being moved through fire, drawn though transformation. The first time I felt that ‘pull’ of God, I was about 5 years old in North Carolina, wide open and trusting the church my family attended. For some reason, one day at church, I felt pulled to sit close, not in the mezzanine with my family. Then, when the minister asked for anybody who felt called to Baptism to come forward, I found my 5 year old body moving forward. It was one of the most powerful moments in my life. In that moment, I was a moth drawn to the light of God. A 5 year-old volunteered. Sometimes I forget that feeling, that draw. Again, I am so grateful for the teachers that come into my life and remind me (Ram Dass, bloggers on this site, friends that have been on my path, the special Angels in my world). Y’all are the light.

Here’s the thing: Maybe I’m still the goo in the cocoon (see other post below) before becoming the moth/butterfly. What can I do about that? Nada, nothing, zilch, zero. So I hang out beyond the expectations by accepting whatever I am, wherever I am, as best I can in that moment. I am not limited by the expectation that I should be a moth, or if I am a moth already, that I should be drawn into the flame just yet. For now, I just love all of this light–the big fires from each of you, and the smaller lights of fleeting circumstances.

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So many ways to put words on all of this. And so many ways to interpret it all!  Please visit www.gatehealing.com/blog and www.twitter.com/gatehealing for other perspectives, thoughts, and meditations. And as always, please read the comments on all of our posts on this site (simply click on the “3 comments” text at the bottom of each post)–there are so many beautiful teachers out there who are sharing here. You can also see our discussions with each other. Also, friend me at www.facebook.com/gatehealing
~~Jon