I LOVE my Pa-pa!
So I’m going camping this weekend with two of my favorite people in the world. . .and in Central Texas, the weather is 50’s at night, mid 80’s in the day, and sunny! I’m looking for an old pocket knife to take camping, and I find the last letter that Papa wrote to me, my mom and my brother when he visited before his passing. I had a great time reading and remembering. This was a real man of honor and spirit; no drama, no frills, no magic. Just compassion and integrity rolled up with intelligence and wit. Imagine my mirth when I read “I am my own grandpa!!”
Such a gentle human being, a spiritual person. Just what you’d think of as a wonderful grandfather in the movies. He has been one of the most influential people in my life. In life, he was funny, resourceful, energetic, intelligent, service oriented, brave, courteous . . . just a beautiful person in life and in death. So I find him while looking for a pocket knife. . . and I remember him sitting on his porch deep in meditation while undergoing cancer treatment (this, after my post last week about being brave on my porch, was very humbling) . . . I remember him comforting me as a child, I remember him helping me learn how to remember things better by writing things down, I remember him teaching me to wiggle my fingers like a fish (which I’ve now passed to that sweet little 7 yr old girl who had surgery a month ago), and I remember him teaching me to play rummy, and so much more. I love it all. I miss him. And I get happy tears typing it. Then I remember that he’s no further from me than I am from myself—literally. He’s here now, and I don’t mean as a ghost or anything. We’re all the same thing. The guru IS you reflected, you just add your interpretation of the reflection . . .
I see that what I respect and admire about Papa, is already totally present in me; if I don’t already have ‘it’ within, how would I know what ‘it’ is that I am respecting and admiring?? I see what I want to become in my grandfather; those are my desires and attachments reflected back—and I just interpret that reflection as a different person I called Papa.
~~~ That is what poured through my heart when I read page 66. The Tao of Papa. ~~~
Thanks for sharing this memory with me! I’ve always looked to Papa as a spiritual teacher for me; as a model of honest spirit. I am so grateful to have been around him, and to feel more as one with him. I didn’t meet Maharajji in a body, but I know my Papa! And those two would have been a hoot!
Your Little Buddy