Ram Dass Now

I’m thinking tonight about what it was and when it happened. The event in my life that forbid my “premature closing of accounts with reality” (p 17).

I don’t remember a time when I didn’t have a sense that there was another layer of existence that I could feel but not see…sense but not know.

As a young child kneeling beside my bed every night I would pray….”Now I lay me down to sleep…..if I should live for other days, I pray thee Lord to guide my way.”  A taste of sweet surrender.

That ritual of devotion and surrender would shift my consciousness into a receptive state and spirit would flow in as I moved out of my head and into my heart. In that heart space I’d crawl into bed and float from my normal waking consciousness into another way of being. I have distinct memories of feeling the release from my body and a deep peace…and also that I was in the presence of complete love. I don’t know how else to describe it. It felt like where I belonged . Where I belong. Home.

Those early moments of grace and other similar heart-expansive, fulfilled moments touched that place of “intuitive validity” (pg.16 )and set me on a path to seeking ways to be in that space again and again. I was drawn to people who created experiences  through music or words that brought me there. They were like sherpas with radiant smiles…ready and willing to help guide the way with reverence and joy. And so there’d be more experiences of being in the bhav…so good….but fleeting.

In the writings of saints and realized beings I would find validity and affirmation of the experiences. Those writings would help me feel less crazy. But I still felt I was missing something.

I was looking outside of myself .  The paradox was that I  was trying to get somewhere but there was/is nowhere to go– I just need to be here now. And there’s nothing to figure out.

I’m not sure why getting high with psychedelics never looked like a method of exploring for me. Many of the people I’ve looked to along the way and have resonated with strongly started there. But for me it has been meditation,yoga,chant and love  that have been peeling back the layers. And there’s been a strange magic in the opening to other realities that those layers reveal. When I let go of my agenda, trust the flow of grace and  keep my heart open, the way opens up. It is right there inside of me.

Chanting in a room full of people with Krishna Das or surrendering into a posture alone on my yoga mat , I can feel that same sense of being where I belong that I felt as a child. Moving out of my head and into my heart.

I am so in awe of this life I’m living and blown away by the support of beings near and far. And still…I feel crazy, but happy.

Jai Neem Karoli Baba!

Pg 17. So many layers of reality/consciousness that we cannot possibly know with our minds, but we intuit it, we “infer the presence of something else” (pg 18).  All the levels, known, unknown, unknowable, are all out there, all in here. Except trying to grasp at them doesn’t seem to work. As a matter of fact, I have learned that the more I try to read and reason the existence of spirit, the less likely I am to believe it! Why? Because I’m trying to apply dynamics/rules from one level of consciousness to a completely different one (among other reasons in all levels–more on that later). There are just so many ways to experience being-ness–even just at this level of waking consciousness! Not to mention the other layers William James writes about. We get to just be HERE now! But we know those other places are there too, but for this, we stay here.

We all are tuned in to some of these other ‘realities’ around us. It’s different for each of us.  We may experience them as intuition (intangible knowledge), or as natural talent (often behaviorally expressed). We just know there are pockets of ‘understanding’ that we cannot quite explain. So we don’t have to (explain, that is). And we may even recognize some healthy things to do that encourage these periods of ‘getting it’: Yoga, Taiji, meditation, music, prayer, exercise, Qigong, Pilates, reading good books . . . the more you do them, the more you seem to have the ‘times of understanding’ last longer. You’re actually just paying better attention.

Sometimes though, we get back here to the more simple things, like just letting the sight of a child help you experience God in your soul,  your gut, in your bones (Pg 16, “it’s got intuitive validity”), with no intellectual explanation needed. You know the feeling I’m talking about. . . when you’re busy being all grumpy, and you inexplicably allow yourself to melt into mirth at the site of child barking, pretending to be a puppy; no longer worrying about that project you’ve got to turn in, no longer ‘worried’ about ‘losing your center.’ Besides, what’s so special about the center anyway? At this point, I’m not so certain there is a center, except when we draw boundaries (and most of us do), then ‘center’ is a useful practice. Do you draw boundaries around surrender? (Pg 20)

Please remember that page numbers refer to the Brown Pages, From Bindu to Ojas, in Be Here Now. Be Love Now soon to come!

Namaste’
Jon

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For as long as I can remember I have wanted to know. And it has been in looking for the answer that I have found my way to this blog.

At a very young age I began to notice there was something I was connected to that had nothing to do with my biology or my life circumstances.

I sensed there was a world within and beyond the world I was perceiving with my eyes and set about exploring …map-less and determined to find my way.

For a long time I was completely unaware that I was already on a path and that I was never without guidance.

I now know it was Grace that turned my attention toward Eastern spirituality  by way of music, books, workshops, meditation, yoga and  in the past ten or so years…kirtan,kirtan,kirtan.

Many of the most profound moments of my life over the past 30+ years can be traced back  almost directly to when I first came upon Ram Dass’s writings.

My heart and mind were blown open and in the midst of my daily days with all of the ups downs and in-betweens I have been sustained and nourished by  an unimpeded flow of light into that open place.

My hope is that by sharing my thoughts and feelings in this 108 days of  blogging I might type something along the way that resonates for someone and helps them connect to the wisdom, love and light that Ram Dass so freely shares .

This blogging space feels like kirtan to me.  Many voices coming together (although in typed words here) to open our hearts and take us home to ourselves.

I also hold the hope that through my meandering rambles I might come close to expressing the gratitude I feel for the opportunity to explore and express my experiences  with ‘Be Here Now’ in an intentional way and in community with others.

A virtual satsang with Maharaj-ji smiling on us all….so good.

Ram Dass and me circa 1993

Ram Ram

Ram Ram

Ram Ram

I’m grateful to be with you. We are here having the only conversation there is. We could be singing Ram’s name or talking about chocolate cake and pudding and we would be having the same conversation. We are here to express gratitude to our teachers, and we are the teachers. Can we empty our slates so that the great teacher may write upon them messages of love?

I’m a licensed therapist and musician whose primary gig is her spiritual trip and who has somehow loved writing since birth. I’m thrilled to be participating in this project. Be Here Now and I are simultaneously celebrating our 40^th birthdays, and not long ago I launched my column, Stay Open: Spiritual and Self-Care Space. It’s a Dear Abby-style spiritual counseling column that naturally combines my love of writing and my desire to share truth so that we all may experience relief, space, joy and real peace.

Stay Open: Spiritual and Self-Care Space would not exist without Be Here Now.

We seek to share the good news, like yet another great Jewish teacher who lived a few thousand years ago. We are so fortunate to live in a time when awakening is celebrated on a pervasive scale. Yoga, meditation, chanting: we are infused in this country with devotional celebration of spirit; and Be Here Now opened the door.

The honor that it is to write on this project is equal to stillness within that is holding up a mirror so I can see myself. So that I can see you.

There is only one conversation.

I’m so grateful to be with you and expect that we are at the trailhead of a deep journey, one that has started with so many people coming across this oddly square-shaped book and subsequently seeing their own mirror.

Thank you so much.

(Composed to Wade Imre Morrisette’s beautiful song, Prayer. Check him out.)

June 24, 2010

Austin, TX

Carin Channing (Carina ShantiOm)

www.nowstayopen.com

Taken by Steve Silberman at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley, Phish show, 8/6/10